*wails* my favourite bronze bead necklace SPOIL~~~
why should i cry over a non- living thing huh?

heard the song of Tiger Lily by Matchbook romance?
is a sobby song.
but i have a new title of my own song,
it is Lion Rose~ wahaha.the definition? one day you will found out soon!

if you realize you still have some unforgiveness or anything tat hurt you,
Don't Nurse it. A 3 words principle.

Pastor mike conell services was an awesome encounter with the Lord. seriouslt , i dont even know there some"things" inside me~ (ahem) yea~ wats next step for every christian after inner healing?

GUARD YOUR HEART

in Matthew 12:45

"Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first. So shall it also be with this wicked generation."

waaa...... take heed of this advice. guard your heart. standing in the righteous of God.

someone email me this and i edit and combine this series of pictures:

oh my goodness~ superman in Doraemon , MyMelody , Winnie the Pooh , sarong, Hello kitty , hottie and the Ballet !!!! if Ian see , he is gonna faint~not jus this , there are more~, it just below:

is that Da chang Jin? haha , he looks pretty cool in the korea suit. the posh looking and he carry a branded hangbag i suppose, Gucci bag?

saw this from jen jen blog, decided to play with it:

Task: Name 20 names tt appear in your mind right now (Gal,boi alternate)

1.Jenjen
2.kangwei
3.Jasmine-sf
4.jeremy
5.julia
6.reid
7.winnie
8.enoch
9.eunice
10.melvin
11.sherlin
12.edwin
13.jaslyn
14.cai li
15.mei mei
16.sinman
17.huiqin
18.pui
19.Darren sim
20.jayne

i. How close is [1] with you?
~my dearest and closet cg member( emm... under same leader but diff cg)

ii. Do uthink [6] n [7] will be together?
~OMG... haha. cant be, cos 7 is engaged

iii. Are [8] n [11] close?
~100% NO, one is my elder sis the other is my cg member

iv.Your relationship wif [15]?
~my kaki in poly

v. Relationship wif [16]?
~sinman.... another dearest sis in my the other cg

vi. Color when see/hear [5]?
~black? ( think she is gonna strangle me)

to be continued......

vii.Item when see/hear [5]?
~drumset

viii.person u would intro [3] for friends.
~Darryl teo

ix.person u would intro [20] for friends.
~jeremy? hmmmm...

x. If [2] confess to u,wat would u do?
~wahaha~ *peng* for me to know and for u to find out

xi. Describe [4]'s character.
~MY PCGL , wat else can i say abt him? he is awesome

xii. Describe [9]'s character.
~simple-minded , pure yet a friendly gal

xiii. wat do u n [8] always chat abt?
~hmmm... cell grp stuff? and personal stuff i guess. one of those fren tat i share my inner stuff occasionally.

xiv. wat do u n [11] talk abt?
~my elder sis... family and MONEY and SHOPPING

xv.wat's e most memorable thingy abt u n [19]?
~ turning our IT competition lab upside down...wahaha~

xvi. most memorable thingy abt u n [10]?
~haha... he is my sch-mates , we are mere aquaintance, quiet guy yet got my attention.

xvii. who's [13] to u?
~my darling in Strikeforce

xviii. who's [12] to u?
~My good fren in strikeforce too. but lately we seldom tok. hai~

xix. wat's [17]'s fav pasttime?
~ sleep? lolx, oh ya , biking and bike stunts

xx.whixh is closest among all?
~hee... dun wanna say who. i have my answer le worx

yawn~
i was chionging my presentation for tomorrow CMSK4 class just now. man , this subject is real dumb. at this hour , still doing this presentation and i have to wake up at 6 plus in morning! haha... been reading my frens blog lately. most of them are in the same boat as me. toking school and project and work ,school and project and work ,school and project and work ...and Stress. haha.... when i come to see my blog, i jus realize the semester is ending one month time! better stop procrastinate, work hard & smart!tmr i gonna be a walking zombie. i think tmr go school library level 4 big squarish sofa and zzzZZZ~

having some "fun" with this flash:

so sickening right? ha!
suddenly , a topic came across my mind: "Gothic"
recently , typical singaporean siao gi na(gangster) are on the " gothic " track. not alot of people could carry off gothic, for instance:

avril lavigne.... pretty~ ahem, she could carry off the gothic style. she slim bah i guess... gothic suppose to look a little weakling , sickly... look at jue dui superband of Channel U, the band Lucify is a good example.
On the contrary, if its a fat or plump person in a gothic style:

they look like panda... zhen de, i saw one on the street before at downtown. haha... this is a topic that i discuss with pui and jen few weeks back...

KNOCK-OUT(...ZZzzzZZ)

again my late night blogging.
before i chiong my project of my business elective, i realized i'm easily stress. i could vent my things to my buddy and my leader(OMG!) for no reason. i'm sorry guys... pls pardon me, cause i having PMS(what's tat? you dont know? ask a gal). i'm serious , due to my weird body condition ...

i foresee that the next one month i'll be stretch like never before. every week will have submission of the letter "P" , P for PROJECT.i realize every post will have one small little corner shouting and ranting and screaming on the letter, "P"!especially for my major project , i learning Visual Basic and i going bonkers soon with two programming language on hand. others learn over months and i pick up in a WEEK!!!! whatever it is...by the grace of God, this semester coming to end soon! bear with it , kai li , you can do it with God who are the Lord of possibles.

i have a dream , but this dream will be delay due to my calling. God is beautiful in His time, it tells me how impatient i am. by next year , i gonna buy a Drum Set!call me reckless or watever , i gonna do it! seriously , sometimes i feel intimidated to stand up among good drummers, just an area of low self-confidence. on the contrary , in cell group i dont felt this way as helper to my leader. some drummers i do really respect, some.. shall not comment further~ like what Taufik Batisah says in our Emerge conference :"people may critcise you , look down on you , dont care about them , run after your dream." God is God of choices , He give us EXTRA personal space to think , to dream , to reflect about anything,nobody could do that on this earth .

time to chiong the "P".( for i am a chiong-ster, LOLX)

laughter, the best medicine.
this animation show how stupid can a human be, when the door cant be open by push , pull loh!

i blogging from school...for the first time.

ponder and wept the whole night , i decided to move on.
i dont to be Lot's wife, neither i want to Judas.
i lift up my burden into Your loving hand.
give me the boldness to move on,
the courage to press on.
no matter what the things will turn out to be
i will still cling onto You.

i just realized i have alot of project deadlines that is coming up. kai li , ganbatte!!! with God all things are possible.

(no more solitude)

as i open the playlist of all worship song , tears begin to roll down my cheek and i could hardly breath.And i could hardly see the keyboard as the tears are overwhelming.listening to this song "Still" by Hillsong , it reminds me of how God deliever me from every single tribulation that i go through. His grace and mercy is sufficient for my weaknesses. He love me the way i am even i made Him sad many times. "when the ocean rise and thunders roar , I will soar with you above the storm".

"Lord,forgive them . For they do not know what they doing"
My heart was wounded with slashes. it still bleeding.
i realise my mistake is fatal when i was a leader.
i love them just like Jesus love His disciples.
i repented for all the ways.
PLEASE , let me have a peace of it,PLEASE!
few are loyal, one i took her loyalty for granted.
i turn my eyes upon Jesus, wonder What Would Jesus Do.
as the people slander and mock against Jesus , even to cruxifition.
How Jesus responded?
He pleaded God for forgiveness ON THEIR BEHALF ,DESPITE THE FACT THEY TURN AGAINST HIM.

i want to stop crying...


an hour later....
in all things , i give thanks to the Lord.
i wanna be semi-solitude for the next few days, until i recover~
i'll be back~ :]

haha, been blogging lately.
i am a postcard freak, i have a collection over 800 to 900 plus postcard.( really! i count!)
i use to write card to my frens in a regular basis but nowadays i get too busy, dun hav the time to write. yesterday i went to take some free postcard from TP design school , on my way back with my sick stomach , i take a look on the cool postcards i took .
SUDDENLY , i hear someone talking me, sound like God:
"write a postcard to the one that who you find difficult to 'love' "
i answered:
"Wu nia boh?ask me to write to the one?God , You must joking ba. at times is beyond what i can do to love the person , i have lifted up the person into Your hand le leh."
He reply:
"Matthew 5:23-24, kai li"
i said:
" Awww....that verse again~"
i begin to ponder...
His words are short and sweet but powerful.agree? He say one word, we say whole dictionary of words.that's the problem with human, procrastinate more , do less.(admit it ba , my frens who is reading this post)But God is the reverse, He is doer more than a "talker" or hearer.
i think i gonna do according to what He says is right...

JUST DO IT!

(Nike Tagline)

knowing what's the best for you is to show you how much i love you.
the joy of the now is running out, the infinite misery is coming,
it will run out if i didnt make right decision
He is calling out for me , i don't want to ignore Him anymore!

My lovely child , where are you?
My lovely child, Your Dad is calling out for you.
My lovely child, stop hidding like Adam.
no matter how far you are from home,
you are still within My hands of protection.

Tears shed while blogging this post
hearing His sovereign voice non-stop as i wrote
kai li ~kai li~ You are the one I called
come with a heart without condemnation.

it took me nearly an hour to log in here.OMG
my semester coming to end soon with unfinished projects and presentations and reports coming up.

Despite most of the leaders are away for taiwan emerge last week, i stand in the gap for my leader.
i was praying, " Lord , i don't want the attendance drop , neither i wanna maintain the number in the cell group, i wanna GROW!"
true enough, it came to pass.(say WOW, say it backwards! lolx)
nah, one brand new friend for friendship connection, the friend is rather open to Gospel.(Thank God!)
as last week was a healing preacher , Rev Che An, the-one-or-two-weeks-giddy spell gone instantly right after the service!(all glory to Him, Amen!)
i can say it was the one of most stretched season i ever experience.

back to my school stuff
awww.... i rather getting low moral as the project going up to a tougher stage. my left ear is gonna rotten( to those who know, you would get the joke)
one phrase to describe i really feel:
TO HELL , OF THOSE OF THE CRITICAL & CYNICAL & SCEPTICAL SPIRIT!
ahem , sorry i was making a fleshly/carnal comment i guess, or maybe not.
i discovered a book in my room of mountain-ous dump:
"Who's pushing your buttons - handling the difficult people in your life"
by Dr.John Townsend
a book of the right season i suppose, machiam like i found some historical treasure.ha!

i recall something that God ask me this year:
" kai li , what kind of Cell group you wanna lead in future?"
my response was... * JAW DROPPED AND HIT LOUDLY TO THE GROUND*... & stare at God blankly.
while pushing my jaw back into place, i tell God what i really desire
"God, i wanna lead a group of MUSICIANS whose heart are for the Lost , Whose mind are of the will of God, that we as a cell group can go to marketplace , for the marketplace and penetrate to the marketplace in the area of ARTS"
i couldnt believe what i just tell God about what i want! one of the conversation that i never forget.apparently , those who are under my discipleship and those who are on my "reaching out" list are good with at least one musical instrument.
what is God's response , seriously i cant remember anything or He is YET to response.
" In Jesus name i pray, AMEN!" i ended the prayer.

jeremy share one story me before , it was rather interesting:

leader A:" i wanna be a great doctor "
leader B :" i wanna be the president of United States"
leader C:"i wanna be a great preacher "
leader D:"i wanna be the leader of all 3 of them that is mention above"

i wanna be leader D. lolx

behold , my sister on her semester break. on a 12 hours elongated car ride to Melbourne from the city of Adelaide( i think i spell wrongly)!!! she is such a fortunate chic!! never mind never mind, when she is back , it will be her turn to pay for me my holiday expenses!! wahaha!!

enough of my craps, let me exhibit some of the pictures that she took in the whole trip!

* drumrolls*
*Cymbals kiang*

wah... cant remember when was the last time i ever see the real snow or i NEVER see b4. i think i did , ICE KACHANG!! lolx

wow... cable cars. but the sky is alittle scary.... raining soon.

the girl in black is my sister, the other is her best pal , christiana.by the way , the wedges she wore, she copy me buying b4 she left for australia! You such a copycat!!! i own one b4 her! blehx!

Oh My Goodness! beautiful right?the conbination of green , brown and blue paints greatly to this picture. how i wish i'm there!
oh my , oh my~ admiring God's creation. He is such a great painter! i felt like diving into the picture! * bang! kana hit the monitor screen*

koala bear. can you see?can you see?

this kangaroo is lying on a sexy position. lolx


cute!!!! this is different from what you see in Looney Toons!
the city of Melbourne!! i saw new bag!! ahem! remember to buy something back for me!

* eye poppin* they are going against Issac Newton Apple theory!!!

* Eye popping and Faint~* pig head for dinner! lolx. better dun let my parents see if not they wil faint too!

after so much showcase of pictures, how my sister looks like??hmmm...

TADA!

i know what you guys thinking... we dun look alike right??? i know she looks better than me but i have a better character!lolx

one was hit with high blood pressure
another with multiple fracture after car accident
one almost got an injury
the shepherd of this band fall ill in taiwan
despite of so many attacks
we choose to praise the Lord
that we proclaim His goodness and mercy
before a birth of breakthrough
a series of trials and tribulations come after another
however this will not be our stumbling block
its gonna be our stepping stone
when the shepherds are away
we are to rise up and stand in the gap

Prophet Isaiah says
"When the enemy comes in like a flood, The Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against them".(Isaiah 59:19[NKJV])

"but no weapon that can hurt you has ever been forged. Any accuser who takes you to court will be dismissed as a liar. This is what God's servants can expect. I'll see to it that everything works out for the best." God's Decree. "(Isaiah 54:17[the Message])

just a little weary of some guys that i knew...
they arent aint good steward of others' possession.
in the area of finance...
one could forget to claim and not telling the one he owe
the other , surplus after buying shared stuff is gone.
i not covet for this bits of dollars...
but it show how UNFAITHFUL and IRRESPONSIBLE you are
before you can be a faithful steward of other's people finance...
DON'T ASK GOD WHY YOU HAVE NOT EXPERIENCE FINANCIAL BLESSING

great day today , was on my way the tuition kid's house in a taxi , i started a conversation with the driver who is also a christain. she enjoy the chat with me through out the whole journey. upon reaching the destination , she charge me only 5 bucks out of $13.90. wow. praise the Lord.

seriously , i in trauma.

Happy Father's Day

a song i wanna dedicate to my heavenly Abba Father:

Before the world begin
you were on His mind
and every tear you cried
is precious in His eyes
because of His great love
He gave His only son
everything was done
so you would come

Nothing you can do
to make Him love you more
and nothing that you've done
could make Him close the door
because of His great love
He gave His only son
everything was done
so you would come

Come to the Father
though your gift is small
brokeen hearts , broken lives
He will take them all
the power of the word
the power of His blood
everything was done
so you would come

Dear Abba Father,

Thank You for being a great heavenly Dad for all this years in this walk with You. i believe i not been a good daughter for all this while, however , my love for You is ever true and passionate.i always give lots of headache and heartache for You. time and time again , i make You disappointed. at times, i neglect You and ignore You when You trying to talk to me. Abba Father , i'm so sorry. i'm not perfect but this is not an excuse for me not to improve.

Abba Father, Your love is unconditional and everlasting. You always believe in me even no one believe in me. You always there for me , even i have so many friends around me. Abba Father , nobody else would understand me except You. You bottled up my tears and return me the Tears of joy and hope.Abba Father i thank You for the attention that i needed when i need a listening ear. i thank You for the assurance tthat You given me that You written in the word of God. thanks for the affection You given to tell me that i able to accept and love others for Your glory. Abba Father ,Your paitence and mercy that You have for me, make me wept and feel lost in Your presense.

Abba Father, its my fault to discount with You during the service about my earthly Dad. i wept like nobody business as never in my life i took the initiative to hug my earthly Dad. it "kills" to hug my earthly dad. Abba Father i'm sorry. Abba Father, as i sms my earthly dad , give me the courage and love to sms my earthly dad "happy father's day".i will forgive him for Your sake despite the things that he done when i young that hurts me so much. it may be tough but i will do it for You.he is isnt a bad earthly dad but he jus don't know how to love me.

Abba Father , i still thank You given me a great earthly father. teach me to be expressive towards my earthly dad. i believe through me , that my whole family will see Your glory.

i want to be the best daughter that i can be. thank You and thank You for everything. and i looking forward for fellowship with You. it seem like Father's day is practically everyday, hehe... my greatest phrase that i can say to You:

i love You and i love You, Abba Father! Happy Father's day!

Agape~ Kaili :]

its been more than a week since i last blog. haha, last weekend was an awesome experience in Emerge conference. evey year of Emerge will have mind-blowing thing happening. 'll elaborate more when the pictures uploaded in CHC webby :]

this week was a SSSTTREEETTTCCHHH week . term test with flu and on-off fever and cough. but i thank the Lord for strengthen me and divine guidance through out the whole test. once again , on my first paper , i sat at the wrong seat in the exam hall. how embarrassed. previous semester i went into the wrong hall but thank God not the wrong paper. haha.... my case is still fine , i have a fren who even FORGET to take his test. how pathetic.

a little rant of mine: a fren of mine tot that go clubbing is totally cool and hip and wat-so-ever. yeah it can be cool in my opinion but those clubber boast about it: " i club mah , i'm cool leh, people see me dance"... YOU are totally UNCOOL.
and you turn me off.
the humble does not tell anyone they're humble ,the proud does.
same for the cool does not tell anyone they're cool, the uncool does.
how sad the proud wouldnt know this.

a cry of mine:
Psalm 6:2-9
"Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I am weak; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are troubled. My soul also is greatly troubled; But You, O Lord--how long? Return, O Lord, deliver me! Oh, save me for Your mercies' sake! For in death there is no remembrance of You; In the grave who will give You thanks? I am weary with my groaning; All night I make my bed swim; I drench my couch with my tears. My eye wastes away because of grief; It grows old because of all my enemies. Depart from me, all you workers of iniquity; For the Lord has heard the voice of my weeping. The Lord has heard my supplication; The Lord will receive my prayer. "

why?

so funny ... i have long list of To-Do list that is as long as a receipt, i still wanted to blog.just excited for the event in few hours to come!

satisfied with my previous entry. i think i being inspired by people like Ian especially , Julia , Kang Wei etc. in their style of writing. if there is an award call best Christian bloggers , i would nominate Ian.(read his blog and you will know why).

i like the way they express themselves in blog , simple words yet deep that give me deep impression.no grandmother story like someone with surname Yap(if you know who you are, i like reading your blog BUT just that you tend to have repetition, pure faith i should say about you , not dismoralised you , stil love yah with Jesus love k!haha. Bleahx)

in conclusion , its not about comparison between bloggers.

about 17 to 18 hours from now will be our long-awaited conference...

EMERGE!


i so excited man!!! wonder what is the next step and challenges for another level as a youth! Expectancy is the seedbed for miracles!

in a Boulevard Of Broken Dream
a heart that sings Tiger Lily for the past one month
feeling like Stop Crying Your Heart Out
Sometimes has Straight Jacket Feeling
yet want to sing Accidently In Love
i started Learning To Breathe
and motivated by I Dare You To Move
don't wanna wait till Wake Me Up When September End
and stop procrastinating My Paper Heart

He is always faithful
my heart sings to Him How Great Is Our God
with the passion of Consuming Fire
that makes me I Could Sing Of Your Love Forever
on the Solid Rock i stand
Take All Of Me only You can
Touch me with Your Presense
and I'll be STILL know You are God

a fictional post

am i scatterbrained?
i would not put my household on jeopardy.
i was happily settle down for toil
and a call from the domineering figure of the household
blasted me , accused me.
'm abt to blubber ,
but i didnt as there are 8 DOTAs.

this is not the first time i face the music.

i believe i didnt execute it.

brand new skin

new blog address , frenz , pls take note:


http://legacymaker.blogspot.com/


definitely is not about my face or body skin, is my blog skin.
created by Julia a.k.a Zu-li-ya, thanks for this birthday gift. love ya! :]
ytd , i watch over the hedge with Irenaus & xing lian. its really a show that worth my money to watch.! next movie, X-MEN : the last stand
some part of my blog still looks abit funny , fine tuning in progress , jus bear with me
its been a long time since i last blog....

leader C, J.

" You wil never be a success until you produce a successor."

leader B, T.

" You never play drum good enough until your neighbour play as good as you."

are'nt they both telling me the same thing?
however , its convicting and impactful.